The "magic" of life...

This past weekend I was with my family celebrating the birthday of one of my nieces.  While having a great meal at a downtown Toronto restaurant and enjoying light conversation, our table was approached by the restaurant's "entertainer" - a magician.  The man, likely in his 40s, with a great sense of humour, amazed us and our children with wonderful tricks carried out with his hands and a few simple props - rubber bands, cards, balloons and coins.  We were all impressed at his ability to manipulate these small objects with his fingers, the movements so quick and subtle that they were clearly much faster than our eyes, which were intently focused on and glued to his intricate movements.  We were all hugely impressed by the tremendous skills that he had acquired, obviously through many years of honing his craft.

Between the tricks, while removing the "props" for the next feat out of his silver magician's box, he kept our attention with stories and anecdotes which brought a smile to the face of both my five year old as swell as our zeide/grandfather.  Partly due to the warm-hearted and open nature of the man, and perhaps due the safety of the numbers comprising our larger party, we began to ask the man several personal questions.  Amongst these questions was this one: How did you get involved with magic?  What made you decide to make this your profession and career?  Perhaps we were also wondering, though noone was quite brave enough to ask, "what made you decide to make a living performing these small-scale slight-of-hand tricks, while moving from table to table at a family restaurant"?

Actually, I am not sure what answer we were expecting to these questions.  Personally, I expected him to say that he had seen Doug Henning or some other world famous magician as a small child, and ever since then was inspired to master the amazing skills which would mesmerize and thrill audiences around the world.  To our surprise, the answer was not quite what we expected.  As it turns out, the man was working for a magazine company about 10 years ago, in their printing department.  One day, his left hand - as it turned out, his dominant hand - was accidentally caught in a printing machine causing massive lacerations to the fingers. He ended up requiring 65 stitches and had major deficits in his ability to use his left hand.  To this day, a large part of his hand has no feeling.  As part of the long and difficult rehabilitation process, he started doing small magic tricks with the goal of stimulating and strengthening the small muscles of his left hand.  Over time, what began as a goal to exercise his traumatized hand and to improve recovery after a career and life-changing injury, became a passion.   He told us that he began to search out and read every book he could find on magic - he currently has a huge library of magic books at home.  And, ultimately, magic became his new career.

The skeptics in the crowd will, no doubt, say the following: Sure, nice story; so nice to see that he is doing professionally something that he loves and is truly passionate about, but what kind of  a living can one make doing this, anyway?  How happy and fulfilled can he really be doing small and simple tricks for some strangers at a simple family restaurant.

Personally, I was thinking something else.  What came to mind are phrases such as "behind every cloud is a silver lining", and "when one door closes another one opens".  I'm sure you can come up with another one of these expressions that we hear all the time.  But...behind these seemingly simple statements, is a very deep and profound life philosophy and belief.   The faith that when we are confronted by a negative life event, no matter how small or how massively tragic and life-altering, this will lead to something positive.  Taken even further, it is the faith and belief that the most difficult things that we confront in life are not sporadic, accidental or random, but are there for a very specific reason.  And that reason is a positive one, which will ultimately lead us into a new direction, a new path to our personal growth and development as human beings - emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritually.  

I think that many of us who have gone through major traumas and loss in our loves - and let's face it, who hasn't - will agree that when years later we look back on those events, we will see that the most difficult and most traumatic events, which at the time shook us up to our very core and brought us to our knees, in the end were seeds for incredible personal change.  I can definitely think of concrete examples of this in my own life - both personal and professional.

Whether one chooses or not to accept and live by the above life philosophy is clearly a personal choice.  And this choice is not a matter of right or wrong.  And I am definitely not here to convince anyone to accept any life philosophy.  

For me, personally, it's a matter of choosing a personal life philosophy that helps me through the most difficult times.  Is this really the way the universe operates, metaphysically speaking, or is it simply something that we convince ourselves of (as the cynics would say), reframing our personal mental attitude and psychological outlook, so that we bring out and activate all of the positive energies and resources we possess to help us get through that most difficult event?  I really don't think anyone knows for sure, and in the end it makes no difference.

I choose to believe.  I believe that everything that happens to us, happens for a reason - and that reason is, ultimately, a positive one.  I believe that the most difficult, complex and challenging life events, are probably the most important and crucial and profound and critical in leading to our personal development - in shaping who we are and the kind of human beings we become.   And, perhaps, if we see all of our life experiences and events, both the good and the bad, as being important, meaningful and there to teach us important lessons,  we can begin to open our eyes and hearts and see the real message behind it all - the beauty, preciousness and... magic of life.

Several years ago, I came across an amazing poem.  If I am not mistaken, Kent Keith originated this poem in 1968, and Mother Teresa placed it on her children's home in Calcutta in a slightly different version.  Most sources now quote this poem, titled "Anyway", as written by Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, 
And self-centered; 
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you 
Of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
False friends and some true enemies; 
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank; 
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, 
someone could destroy overnight; 
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, 
they may be jealous; 
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, 
people will often forget tomorrow; 
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, 
and it may never be enough; 
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis 
it is between you and God 
It was never between you and them anyway.

Wow, what a powerful and beautiful message.  And for those who are not religious in the standard sense, but consider themsleves spiritual in some way or form, I would say that it is between you and the universal life force and energy that is all around you and within you.

To me, the poem's simple yet profound message is that we should try to lead our lives in alignment with our virtue, honesty, integrity, purpose and sense of contribution - and not to be swayed from our true path by the negative forces that may confront us along the way.  And, ultimately, to do all this not for the sake of recognition, glory, power or sense of entitlement but for that internal sense of satisfaction that is not dependent on anyone else's evaluation, praise or critique.  An amazing message and vision to live by.  To do and strive and create and contribute simply because it is the right thing to do and because it reaffirms our deepest values - without expecting anything in return and despite the potential disapproval of others.  To stay true to ourselves, our goals and our aspirations in the face of adversity, in the face of the setbacks and in the face of failure - to derive satisfaction and fulfillment from the doing and the contribution irrespective of potential outcome.

This morning my wife and I were sharing a cup of coffee at an elegant cafe/shop, enjoying a beautiful sunny summer Sunday morning.  A woman came up to the coffee station just beside our table to add cream or milk to her beverage.  She was holding a Lululemon bag which I see all the time in the hands of women around Toronto.  A bolded statement written on the bag caught my eye: "Every day do something that you fear!".  An amazing message, staring right at me.  How often do we go through life avoiding that which we fear.  How often do we avoid pursuing something because of our fears about what this may entail - all of the potential risks and failures and how all of this could make us feel about ourselves and how negatively it could all reflect on us. 

How often do we find that, in fact, all that we were afraid of was just a figment of our imagination, an allusion created by our nervous system and our human fears and insecurities about ourselves and our world.  

Many years ago, I remember reading an amazing book.  In it, the author asks:  if for 24 hours you were given a complete guarantee that you would not fail at anything that you tried or attempted - what would you chose to do?  What decisions would you make?  Which people would you make contact with?  What things in your life would you try or pursue that you had previously were too scared to try or attempt?

Just think how incredible life could be if every day we would try to do all of those things that our fears currently stop us from doing?  How much more could we accomplish?  How much more happiness or fulfillment would we be able to achieve?  I think the answers to these questions are quite mind-boggling if you just think about it.

The fears that limit us on a daily basis, a product of our mind and thoughts are complex and rooted in and influenced by many things.  Among them are all of those past life experiences, positive and negative, from which we have drawn conclusions about the world around us and from which we have derived the confidence, security and faith in ourselves and in the world around us, or lack thereof.  I have observed that for many, with every negative or painful life experience, that confidence in the self and the world, and in one's own incredible potential is diminished and limited.  That idealistic child who at one point believed that anything and everything in the world is possible, is replaced with a fearful, insecure, discouraged and cynical adult.

And so here again is that inspirational message from the Lululemon bag: "Every day do something that you fear!"  Take that important step that you've been avoiding, afraid of failure. Make that important phone-call.  Take on that challenge that up to now you've been too scared to pursue.  Do, try, create and pursue all of those things that your mind has limited you from attempting.  Who knows, you may be surprised by your incredible success, and even more importantly, you will begin to break down those imaginary walls and roadblocks created by your fears.

Life is an incredible gift. On a daily basis it sends us lessons and messages to guide us along our path towards our greatest potential and fulfillment. It has been said that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I hope that this blog will be my "student's journal" about my observations, thoughts and experiences as I proceed along this incredible journey we call life. The key here is to be open and receptive to these lessons - and they are truly all around us, awaiting to be heard and thus inspire us to grow, develop, create and contribute to the lives of others.