One of my personal characteristics which I am most proud of, which has allowed me to reach success in many aspects of my life, but which at the same time has also been responsible for a fair amount of headache and pain, both for me and those close to me, is perfectionism. Perfectionism - the feeling of never wanting to settle for second best, the desire to always strive for personal growth and improvement; the emotion that prevents me from giving in to defeat and failure, and pushes me to continue to struggle in the face of adversity. It's also the seed of self-doubt, insecurity and thinking that you're never quite good-enough. It means being, at the same time, my own biggest fan and greatest critic.
The difficulty is harnessing all the positive power that comes with being a perfectionist, while at the same time letting go of the self-depracating and self-criticizing aspects which make one never quite happy and satisfied with whatever has been achieved and accomplished - allowing oneself to be truly happy within, content, satisfied, and at peace. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and being proud of and happy with the person looking back.
Today I came across this poem called "The Guy in the Glass" which was written in 1934by Dale Wimbrow Sr. (1895-1954):
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what THAT man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people might think you're a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
If - by Rudyard Kipling
I am always looking for inspirational things. And, quite frankly, the times when I don't find any is a time when in reality I'm just not looking. The truth is that inspiration is always around us, presenting itself in a myriad of forms and shapes. The key is to be quiet, really quiet, attentive and open to receive the message. It is then, that the inspiration pours in like the waters of an open damn.
Today, I came across this poem by Rudyard Kipling. I think its words are simple yet the message is so profound and powerful. It seems to me that oftentimes to really understand (comprehend!) and learn life's lessons one has to live life first, make all those decisions and choices, go through and experience the consequences of those decisions and actions - and then, and only then, can one learn the true lessons underlying those life events. As much as one often tries to learn from the mistakes and the experiences of others, trying to learn from the wisdom of those who have gone before us, hoping to do it better than they did, to avoid their mistakes and their painful and tragic consequences - inevitably, we all have lessons that we must learn ourselves - perhaps meant only for us - for us to experience, for us to learn from, and for us to transmit to those who will follow. In the end, it just may be impossible to avoid all pain, all suffering, all tragedy. In the end, we may end up reading the words of these great poems, each being able to truly appreciate the written words having lived them personally, and thus being able to empathize with each other.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat these two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Today, I came across this poem by Rudyard Kipling. I think its words are simple yet the message is so profound and powerful. It seems to me that oftentimes to really understand (comprehend!) and learn life's lessons one has to live life first, make all those decisions and choices, go through and experience the consequences of those decisions and actions - and then, and only then, can one learn the true lessons underlying those life events. As much as one often tries to learn from the mistakes and the experiences of others, trying to learn from the wisdom of those who have gone before us, hoping to do it better than they did, to avoid their mistakes and their painful and tragic consequences - inevitably, we all have lessons that we must learn ourselves - perhaps meant only for us - for us to experience, for us to learn from, and for us to transmit to those who will follow. In the end, it just may be impossible to avoid all pain, all suffering, all tragedy. In the end, we may end up reading the words of these great poems, each being able to truly appreciate the written words having lived them personally, and thus being able to empathize with each other.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat these two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
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