Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Think...

It is amazing how much power our thoughts have. It is also amazing (tragic, actually) that most of us don't realize this. Furthermore, most of us don't even try to grasp the reigns on our mind, or learn to navigate and direct our thoughts.

Those that do understand and appreciate this fact, and who train themselves over time to be in greater control and in charge of their thinking patterns, are able to open up doors and pathways to achieve great things - not just of a material nature, but much more importantly, piece of mind and internal contentment and happiness.

The passage that follows, whose authour is unknown, clearly expresses the power of our thoughts to determine our fate:

If you think you are beaten, you are;

If you think you dare not, you don't;

If you'd like to win but you think you can't,

You can almost be certain you won't.

If you think that you'll lose, you are lost,

For out in the world you will find

Success begins with a person's will;

It's all in the state of the mind.

If you think you're outclassed you are;

You've got to think high to rise.

You've just got to be sure of yourself

Before you can win the prize.

Life's battles don't always go

To a stronger or faster man;

But sooner or later the person who wins

Is the person that THINKS they can.

Promise Yourself...

I very much believe that our thoughts, behaviour and actions directly impact the way we feel inside - and our thoughts and behaviours have a direct impact on each other.

There is no question that our thoughts (the thousands and thousands of them that occur throughout the day - most even without our being conscious of them) have a direct and massive effect on how we feel emotionally, and ultimately on the actions we take and the way we choose to behave in various situations. But a critical distinction here is that our behaviour and actions can also have an effect on our emotions - in other words, in the reverse direction. Our actions and behaviours can have a profound effect on our emotions and can dramatically change the way we think and feel.

Try walking slowly with a droopy face, shoulders hunched down, think pessimistic and negative thoughts, speak slowly and indistinctly - and not surprisingly you may start to feel terribly - sad, frustrated and helpless. It also wouldn't be much of a surprise if you don't attract too many people into your life while in this state.

Walk upright, taking each step with intent, shoulders up, chest forward, smile, speak with clarity - and somehow our internal emtions follow suit with our physical expression - feeling confident, happy, optimistic etc. Of course, I know it's never quite that simple. But the way we behave and conduct ourselves physically has a huge impact on our own internal emotions and feelings. It also has a huge impact on how people respond to us.

The idea here is not only to think optimistically - but actually to hold your body, behave, and act towards others in line with optimism, happiness, confidence, security, and love and appreciation for the world around us and the people who come into our lives.

The passage below comes from the Optimist Creed. It speaks to me about the importance of focusing on and monitoring our internal thoughts as well as our actions and behaviours - so that we are both internally and externally aligned (in mind and body) with that life energy which is positive, generous, loving and fulfilling:

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and too happy to permit the
presence of trouble.

24 Interludes of Life...

I came across this passage today. Unfortunately I don't know the author to whom this writing is attributed. To me, the words are simple yet beautifully profound:


1. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile.

2. There are moments in life when you really miss someone that you want to pick them up from your dreams and hug them. Hope you dream of that someone.

3. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want in life.

4. May you have...Enough happiness to make you sweet
Enough trials to make you strong
Enough sorrow to keep you human
Enough hope to make you happy
And enough money to keep you comfortable.

5. When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But we often took so long at the closed door, that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

6. The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch, swing with, never saying a word and then walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.

7. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

8. Always put yourself in other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably does hurt the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle a strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life
A timely word may level stress
A lovely word may heal and bless.

10. The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them with our own image, otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

11. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along the way.

12. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we should know how to be grateful for that gift.

13. It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

14. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

15. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and find out you still care for that person.

16. A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.

17. Love starts with a smile, develops with a kiss and ends with a tear.

18. Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, need to love those who still love, even though they've been hurt before.

19. It hurts to love someone, and not to be loved in return but what is most painful is to love someone and never finds the courage to let the person know how you feel.

20. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

21. Never say goodbye when you still want to try;
Never give up when you still feel you can take it;
Never say you don't love that person anymore when you can't let go.

22. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

23. There are things you love to hear but you would never hear it from the person whom you would like to hear it from, but don't be deaf to hear it from the person who says it with his heart.

24. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life to the fullest so that when you die, you're smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Attitude is Everything...

I have heard it said many times by many people (most of whom are much smarter and much more intelligent than I am) that it's not what happens to us in life that matters but our attitude towards it - the way we psychologically, emotionally and intellectually frame and interpret those things that have already occurred in our lives or are currently happening around us and to us. It is the meaning that we choose to attach to those events and the significance that we choose to attribute to those events. The extension of this point is that although we obviously cannot control many (if not all) of the things that are happening around us and end up "colliding" with us, what we do have power over and the capacity to control is the reaction to those events.

We have the power, the choice and the capacity to decide how those events will impact and influence us - the power, the capacity and the profound choice whether to be angry or not, whether to feel like a victim or not, whether to feel defeated and diminished or not, whether to feel overwhelmed, upset, frustrated or not.

Of course, this is easier said than done. And the problem is that many of our habitual responses to events outside of us have become so reflexive and automatic that we begin to feel that we are powerless to do anything and are at their mercy. The first step to overcoming this is to realize that we do, in fact, have the control. We have the choice of how we want to respond and thus the capacity to determine the shape and form of our emotions, thoughts and feelings. And it is the ability (which can be exercised and strengthened over time with practice) to reframe those external life events into shapes and forms that do not disrupt the serenity and stability of our lives (emotionally, physically and spiritually) that can differentiate a life of happiness and contentment from one of sorrow, misery, regret and disappointment.

The power of attitude is clearly described in these words of Charles Swindoll:

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gifted ability, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace from that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is play on the one string that we have and this string is, Attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our Attitudes.

The Guy In the Glass...

One of my personal characteristics which I am most proud of, which has allowed me to reach success in many aspects of my life, but which at the same time has also been responsible for a fair amount of headache and pain, both for me and those close to me, is perfectionism. Perfectionism - the feeling of never wanting to settle for second best, the desire to always strive for personal growth and improvement; the emotion that prevents me from giving in to defeat and failure, and pushes me to continue to struggle in the face of adversity. It's also the seed of self-doubt, insecurity and thinking that you're never quite good-enough. It means being, at the same time, my own biggest fan and greatest critic.
The difficulty is harnessing all the positive power that comes with being a perfectionist, while at the same time letting go of the self-depracating and self-criticizing aspects which make one never quite happy and satisfied with whatever has been achieved and accomplished - allowing oneself to be truly happy within, content, satisfied, and at peace. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and being proud of and happy with the person looking back.

Today I came across this poem called "The Guy in the Glass" which was written in 1934by Dale Wimbrow Sr. (1895-1954):

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what THAT man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people might think you're a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

If - by Rudyard Kipling

I am always looking for inspirational things. And, quite frankly, the times when I don't find any is a time when in reality I'm just not looking. The truth is that inspiration is always around us, presenting itself in a myriad of forms and shapes. The key is to be quiet, really quiet, attentive and open to receive the message. It is then, that the inspiration pours in like the waters of an open damn.

Today, I came across this poem by Rudyard Kipling. I think its words are simple yet the message is so profound and powerful. It seems to me that oftentimes to really understand (comprehend!) and learn life's lessons one has to live life first, make all those decisions and choices, go through and experience the consequences of those decisions and actions - and then, and only then, can one learn the true lessons underlying those life events. As much as one often tries to learn from the mistakes and the experiences of others, trying to learn from the wisdom of those who have gone before us, hoping to do it better than they did, to avoid their mistakes and their painful and tragic consequences - inevitably, we all have lessons that we must learn ourselves - perhaps meant only for us - for us to experience, for us to learn from, and for us to transmit to those who will follow. In the end, it just may be impossible to avoid all pain, all suffering, all tragedy. In the end, we may end up reading the words of these great poems, each being able to truly appreciate the written words having lived them personally, and thus being able to empathize with each other.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat these two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!